Running Out of Speed…

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I thought I would have plenty to talk about. Turns out I am wrong. Trying to eat healthy is not exciting…what?!

More to come soon!

The Breaking Point

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Today was not a good day. It was so bad, that I ate bad. Repeatedly. I can’t say that I didnt want to. I needed to.

I know that God doesnt give us more than we can handle, and that’s great. I, however, am getting frustrated with God’s trust in me. I know I am a strong person, why do you have to keep testing me? I break down  in other ways because I have no where else to turn. I could rollerblade to ease the pain- not in this weather. I tried to talk to my family about it- but I can’t adequately express my emotions. How many more times do I have to go through things like this?

Screw you healthy food. Today, I am eating bad. Tomorrow will be a new day and I will be over the pity party I am throwing myself right now.

Reese’s Cups, my drug of choice

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If ever I was caught in a serious conversation with a drug addict (the odds are pretty slim); I would love to reveal to this person my drug of choice.

Reese’s Cups. I could lose 50lbs in a month; but put a Reese’s in front of me and I still can’t say no. In fact, if there is anyone within a 5 mile radius eating a Reese’s, I am sure that I smell it and have to run out and get some. My addiction is so bad, that at the height of my self-destructive eating, I would eat 4 king size Reese’s a day. Yes, a day.  Waking up in the morning, I would plan my first fix. I would leave work at lunch to get my second, and typically double fix.  Then, before heading home I would stop once more and get my last fix. You can always tell when you have a problem too, when you start hiding things.

For example, I am probably one of the most avid anti-littering people around. My car is typically filled with trash because I wait until I clean it to throw things away. I will even scream at people when they are throwing trash out of their car while driving down the road. However, when I am on a Reese’s binge, ALL the evidence is pitched.

I also have the problem of coming home with the smell of Reese’s on my breath. I sound like an alcoholic, but it’s true. Sometimes I avoid Mike until I can get a piece of bread in my mouth or brush my teeth.

This sounds completely ridiculous to you, I am sure, but perhaps you have never been addicted to anything as powerful as the Reese’s Cup.

I am here to say, that today, I only ate one. Just one. Not two, not four, and definitely not twelve. I am proud of myself, however, had I been offered the second one, I can’t say that I wouldnt have said no. Still, I need to revel in my victory, no matter how small.

Reese’s Cup- I am stronger than you.

 

More Groceries and Higher Gas bill!

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Eating healthy has definitely made me feel so much better. I have more energy and I don’t get that “ugh” feeling after eating.

Eating healthy also has it’s down side. For example, when I was not watching what I would eat, I would spend about 100 a week on groceries. NOW I am spending close to 200! I think that there should be some government initiative to lower the cost of eating healthy. As a nation we are increasingly fat, and when it costs so much more to eat healthy, obviously there should be something done to lower those costs and increase the healthiness of our nation. This is not to say that people are blaming the government for their obesity. I am saying that I know it’s harder to eat healthy for multiple reasons, one of which is money. I am going to do my part to eat better and exercise, now can I get some relief on that grocery bill?

In addition, I have seen my gas bill go from a decent 150 a month to almost double that since I am cooking on the stove or oven so often. Maybe I should become a vegan and eat everything natural. I plan to start a garden in the spring, so it is definitely a possibility…. now if I could only give up pork, beef, and chicken…..

I don’t think that it is in the cards for me to become a vegan or vegetarian. I love meat.

With that said, I guess I will have to endure the cost of getting myself back into the routine of being healthy. It’s a small cost to pay to have a longer life, right?

I am so tired…..

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Mike has been working two jobs for a while now, and I find myself staying up late for him to get home. In addition, I wake up 2 hours before I have to be at work to get Austin and myself ready and out the door. Last night, Mike had warned me that he wanted to go straight to bed when he got home;he didn’t even want me to make him dinner. So, I still stayed up until he got home at 12:30, but then we talked, and talked, and talked. Not being able to see each other very much led to this point.

So today, as I am taking the two hour drive home from work, thank you snow, I make a decision. I choose to stop and get fast food because by the time I get home, feed Austin, and clean him up it will be close to bed time if I make dinner. So, I decided to get myself food. Guess what, I don’t feel bad either. That is what fast food was intended for in the first place right? A quick meal when you dont have time? Not only that, but I have found that if I stop beating myself over every little thing that I do, I will be much better off in the long run. 🙂 The food wasnt great, and I can definitely tell the impact on my body compared to how I HAVE been eating…. I am just so very tired.

Is it just me, or does eating healthy taste terrible?

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Ok, so I’ve gotten to the point where food tastes terrible. I know that this time will pass and I will forget the greatness that is fried food, however, at this point in the game, all the whole grain/whole wheat, low fat, low calorie, no sodium foods are just BLAND. There is only so much pepper can do, seriously.

My evening was eventful as my son starting walking. He’s been working on it for a while, and hadn’t quite gotten it right. Today though, he was ready. He doesn’t walk everywhere yet, but it’s only a matter of time. Yet another reason I need to get healthy and lose this weight; I will soon be chasing my determined little boy. At this point in time, regardless of how bland the food is, life is good. 🙂

Day two.

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Today was rough. There was a lot going on at work, and when I walked into the offices of people eating pizza, I wanted to cry or die on the spot. Pizza is just one of those foods that makes you feel good. It’s easy and it fills you up. I love it. It’s one of my hardest foods to say no to, but I did it today.

When I got home from work, late mind you, I didnt want to cook. I looked at my little boy and the momentum to keep going kicked in. I want him to eat healthy too. So, in the spirit of having a stressful day, I made homemade macaroni and cheese, with a twist! I used whole wheat macaroni , reduced fat chseeses, and fat free milk to make it. It was great! Austin loved it too! Now I feel energized and excited that I made it through a stressful day without turning to food.

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